Building the Nest & Letting Go

I think it's time that I finally sit and relax. Since school has been out, I have constantly been on the go. Really, I did it to myself. I knew that there were a lot of things I wanted to get done before "Bunny" arrived. Plus, I am not one who sits waiting well. My husband has a hard time understanding why I must always be doing something because he's wonderful at just sitting back and taking in life.

I'm a list-maker. I thrive at making detailed lists, including what days I will accomplish everything. Most days I even break it down by the hour.

And even more semi-OCD of me, I will translate everything onto my calendar so that I always have the list with me. I know, crazy. But even as crazy as it seems, it's what keeps me sane!
As you can probably tell from my list, it included everything from cleaning walls (what?! who DOES that?) organizing closets to making meals to freeze for after Bunny is here. And the list is finished. Well, aside from cleaning the oven to washing sheets and the couch cover one last time...but Mom will be here soon and she'll need something to do, too! Just kidding! Sort of...

Things I've done:

Cleaned out the measly little pantry I have. Some might see the limited space as a huge inconvenience. I see it as a great organizing challenge. And I'm happy with what I've done :)

Organizing is great fun for me, yet even more enjoyable is painting and baking. These two hobbies are truly how I relax. Cooking is fine...I made a couple of dishes and froze them for later, but baking, I LOVE. I find joy in it and in the smell of baking breads...especially on days like we've had lately where it's pouring rain and I'm in the coziness of my living room, smelling the muffins baking. Yum.
I had some berries and bananas frozen for a day when I had time to actually bake. Like today :)

This is the first time I've made scones...I think they turned out well!
My aunt's famous banana bread/ banana muffins....mmmm. I want to eat them up now. However, in the freezer they will go....I know that they will taste much better on mornings when I don't even want to make a bowl of oatmeal :)
Painting is even more relaxing for me, and not something I do often, because it takes some sort of vision to come to me first. I've had a vision of a painting that I have wanted to create for quite some time. It's been wonderful to sit back and actually enjoy completing that vision. The inspiration comes from Jeremiah 17:7-8, which is on the bottom of the painting: "But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him. He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit."

And now comes the hard part. Truly sitting back and relaxing, without feeling guilty. To sleep 12 hours at a time (when my hips will allow it...how loose do these joints have to get?!), to watch episodes of shows that I would normally not crowd my mind with, and mostly, hopefully, spend time with God, praying for our daughter, and soaking up His Word. Why is this the hardest to do? Why is it easier for me to watch mindless trash rather than be in His Word? I really pray that I can turn off my computer and open up my Bible multiple times in the next couple weeks, or at least until our little Bunny is here. And continue it after her arrival. Lord, I pray that I do this, especially dedicating her to You since You gave her to us!

Speaking of giving our daughter to the Lord daily, I've really been struggling with giving control to God lately. Honestly, I have always struggled with giving control to God. However, I have never felt more out of control than now. Not knowing what labor will be like. Not having even a little clue as to how we will get through the next few months financially. Not knowing much of anything past what I'm doing tonight.

But really, I have to remember, do I REALLY even know what I'm doing tonight??? God could completely change something in my life right this instant. What is the point of worrying about the future?? "Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" (Luke 12:25). I need to remember that even though being out of control freaks me out and is the scariest thing ever, it's in these times when God will be glorified most and will be able to work His plan out in my life. Wow, it's hard to remember. I just keep on reminding myself of this over and over and over again!!

Besides, if my calendar for August looks like this, what great things can God pen in for my future?! Wouldn't I much rather have the Creator of the Universe creating my schedule than myself??